Catching Up

Oh boy have I been busy. Lots of yard work and landscaping has made Otis a dull boy. I'm still not finished but I will post some progress photos for those who care at a later date. (crickets chirp)

Here are some things I've been meaning to get off my chest:

Kanye West is an asshole.

I don't know any other way to put it.

Kanye West MTV Video Music Awards 2007 Outburst; Will Never Return To VMAs

“That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance,” West said, stomping around his entourage and directing his comments at a reporter. “I’m trying hard man, I have the … number one record, man.”

He said he will never return to MTV Video Music Awards 2007.In September 2006, the Chi-Town bred rapper/super producer crashed a backstage set when he lost Best Music Video at the MTV European Video Music Awards.

Maybe MTV can start giving out participation awards. You know, like they do for 8 year olds who play soccer or little league baseball. This way it doesn't matter if your little rapper is good or bad, they all go home with an award.




Moving on, O.J Simpson is at it again. Here's another book that I thought he might release soon.

















Or maybe Pete Rose can release one too.






















Britney at the VMA's:


















I'd still hit it.

Why is everyone calling her a big fat ass. I think she looks pretty good. We've all just been brainwashed by all of the Hollywood skeletons.

Man Kidnaps Cat, ect...

Here's another great news story:

A man has been charged with extorting more than $20,000 from his elderly mother by repeatedly threatening to kidnap her beloved cat and demanding ransom, police said.

Garry Lamar, 47, was arrested Friday and released on $200 bail. He has been ordered to stay away from his 78-year-old mother, Mary Lamar Grancher.

He started threatening to kidnap his the cat just over a year ago, after his mother kicked him out of her home, accusing him of abuse, North Kingstown Police Sgt. Daniel Ormond said.

This guy is a a real winner. Actually, this story reminded me of a greeting card I saw once. It was a picture of a Teddy Bear tied up and gagged in a chair and on the inside of the card it said "Call me, or the bear gets it!"

On a personal note:

My wifes birthday is this week and I just gave her the present I've been hiding for three weeks. It's an I-pod.

I was a little hesitant to get it for her but after toying with it I think she will love it. Since it is going to be up to me to load the thing with cool stuff, I decided to go ahead and get it ready for when she opened it.

I put over 1,000 songs, 8 full length movies(all of her favorites), and about 80 pictures on it for her. So what does she do after I show her all of this neat stuff?

She plays the solitaire game that came with it for the next 15 minutes.



Women.

Nascar, Rosie, Vick and Tortoise

Nascar

At work today the radio blared with the sound of a postponed Nascar race. I used to like Nascar a long time ago but I quit after my two favorite drivers(Davey Allison and Alan Kulwicki) died in unrelated accidents. I felt a little jinxed and actually joked with people that I would start rooting for a driver that I hated so maybe he would be next.

Of course that driver was Dale Earnhart. So you see, I'm actually responsible for killing Dale Sr. (Technically, I never cheered for that guy so it may be a coincidence.)

As I listened to the race, I couldn't help but think how underpaid those radio announcers are. I mean they switch back and forth from one announcer to another and each guy makes it sound like something incredible is happening right in front of them.

Of course the only thing happening is a bunch of cars going around in a circle. But the inflection in the announcers voice raises as he states..."Gorden is taking on four tires and enough fuel to finish the race!!!!!"

It's a freaking pit stop. How damn exciting can it be?


Rosie Opens Her Damn Mouth Again

It's so damn easy to hate Rosie O'Donnell. Here is the latest.

..after losing "The Price is Right" host gig to Drew, Rosie hissed to a pal that Drew's "a dated 1990s comedian" – adding that he's certain to bomb and producers will come running right back to her!

Walker says fat chance - he says that the fact is, producers ran like hell when Rosie met with them and insisted the show would work much better if she could (1) talk more to contestants, (2) fire Bob Barker's beauties and hire a chorus line of male Broadway singer-dancers, (3) remodel the show's set, and (4) throw LOTS of confetti!

While I don't think Drew Carey is that great of a talent, he is a very likable guy who does make me laugh from time to time. Rosie just makes me angry.

It's The Price Is Right anyway. How great do you have to be to host that gameshow?

Hopefully my wife's Grandmother never reads that last line. If she does, I'll never get another button sewed on or eat homemade bread ever again.

Michael Vick Pleads Guilty


Is anyone surprised that he's guilty?

See you in hell Michael.

Tortured Tortoise

And take this guy to hell with you Mike.

Tortured Tortoise returns home

A Few Videos

Found a few amusing videos this week to throw up on the blog.

The first one features a woman who keeps giving us people from the south a bad name. I'm sure everyone will enjoy her and her dead dog Shithead.

Name on tombstone called disrespectful

And here are a couple of Heroes spoofs. You don't have to watch the show heroes to enjoy these videos.

Random Musings

I've been away for awhile because some idiot in charge at work thought it would be a good idea if they changed my schedule to 6:30 p.m. till 6:30 a.m. You can imagine, that doesn't leave much time for blogging or even sleep. Especially when you factor in that I now live almost an hour away from work.

But enough whining.

Here are some things that have caught my eye this week.

Virginia Man Goes to Jail for Using Homeless for Improper Asbestos Removal

A two-time convicted felon, has been sentenced to 21 months in prison for improperly removing cancer-causing asbestos from a government building in Roanoke, Virginia, without following federal environmental laws according to the U.S. Attorney's Office and EPA. The man also used homeless men to conduct the work.

The City of Roanoke hired the Virginia man to remove asbestos-containing material from a building in March 2004. To do the work, the man hired three homeless men, knowing they were not certified or properly trained to remove asbestos. He paid each man $10 per hour for 3 days of work.

This one hurts because it's a local story. You never think about some asshole doing something like this around here because you never see any homeless people. But they are here and they get treated just as badly here as they do in the big cities.




To Catch A Predator

My wife and I love watching those Dateline episodes where they catch the scumbags who are preying on the 13 year girls in chat rooms.

But I have to admit, I laughed my ass off when I saw this picture.




I would soooo wear that shirt.

One day, they will arrest a guy on the show wearing that shirt.



Women Painting Toes

The other day, the local radio d.j. said that in a recent poll, 7 percent of women admitted to have painted their toenails while they drove at least once.

O.K. ladies, what heck are you thinking? I must say that I'm not surprised. My own mother used to read a book while she drove. She would plop the book on top of the steering wheel and and look up from time to time to see where the road was.

And she wonders why she hit two cows and three deer before I turned the age of fifteen.

P.S.
I hope to do some more blogging this week since I'm back to my regular schedule.

The State Of Virginia

Thank you Michael Vick. You have given the state of Virginia another black eye with your dog fights. I know that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but this guy might end up being another O.J. Simpson. His pockets are deep and he is beloved by hundreds of thousands of deranged Virginia Tech faithful.

I'm sure by now that everyone has read about the alleged killing of dogs by shooting, drowning, hanging, and even electrocution.

How in the hell do you electrocute a dog?

Here's something that hasn't come up in most of the stories: People who run dog fights steal neighborhood dogs.

Yes it's true. They call them "bait dogs." Apparently they look for big dogs that are either young or very passive. They take them back to their kennels, cut their ears off to induce a lot of blood, and then throw them into a pit with their dogs. This helps train their dogs to be killers.

My only wish is that they would throw Vick and his buddies in one of these pits with their ears cut off.

But wait fellow Virginians, there is more good news.

Michael Jackson is moving to Virginia!

You can read all about it here.

As if the Michael Vick dog fighting story wasn't a big enough freak show for us, we get Jacko as our next door neighbor.

If only I had kids, they could go next door and play with Blanket.

Actually he will be on the opposite side of the state but that's still a little too close for comfort.

10 Year Old Runs With Bulls

This is great. A woman in Spain was watching the running of the bulls on t.v. when she spots her ex-husband running. She then notices that the guy running beside him was actually her 10 year old son!

Apparently the ex-husband had visitation rights that weekend and thought it would be a great idea to take the kid out for a brisk run with the bulls.

MADRID, Spain, Jul. 17, 2007
(AP) A Spanish judge has revoked the parental visitation rights of a man who took his 10-year-old son running with the bulls in Pamplona.

Spanish television last week captured images of the boy smiling as he ran ahead of a pack of charging bulls with his father, Luis Miguel Gomez.

The images angered Pamplona city officials _ and the man's ex-wife.

According to city regulations, runners in the San Fermin festival must be 18 years old.

What could have possibly been going through that guys head? Does he not know what could happen to someone at the running of the bulls?

Take these examples for instance:


















































O.K., maybe 10 is a little old for balloons and those funny hats, but you're still a little too young for the old horn in the ass game.

I'll stick with pin the tail on the donkey.

Pug Bowling

As the owner of a pug, I can truly appreciate this next video: Pug Bowling.

Big hat tip to Darrell.